i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
