May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
