They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He passed out mid-signature
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
