Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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