My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
