I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
