My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
