But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
