He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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