Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
