i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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