She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
smell my finger.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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