my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
