What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize