She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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