The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
is wine microwaveable?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
