So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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