I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
