oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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