Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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