pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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