the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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