Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
