i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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