Sponge bath it is.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize