do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
