YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
