He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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