I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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