what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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