Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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