I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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