he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize