SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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