Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
