nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
