I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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