They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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