Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
