I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
