I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
