I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
