just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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