can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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