The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
honey bunches of taint.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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