lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
