is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
