Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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