Me too!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Floor bacon is actually really good
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
