Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I supernannyed him into submission
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
