Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I supernannyed him into submission
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
