it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
