we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
