Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
