Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
