I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize