Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
MIDGETS
????
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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