Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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