her vagine was all disorganized.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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