dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
