He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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