wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize