you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
