I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
