When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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