It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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