So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I cut my penus on the lid.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
