Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize