That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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