im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
