Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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