Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize