I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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